New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
