She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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