So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
