At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
