i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
