and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can I color on your dick again?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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