His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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