Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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