bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
