let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
