So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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