u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
