You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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