This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
