Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
