if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
