Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
