Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
