letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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