i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
