the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
