we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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