I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
