listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
