remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
