dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
