Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
