I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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