Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's Friday. Sex?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
