Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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