im about as happy as oj after his trial
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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