you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
