Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize