So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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