he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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