ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
