the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
