I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
