its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
