You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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