Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
