oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just invented taco cereal.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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