exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
