I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
