If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So squirting runs in the family.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
