Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just pynch a tree in the face
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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