hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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