I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
