yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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