And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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