Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
