Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
