Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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