Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
