Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize