I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
