I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
