Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize