whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
