that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
