He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize