i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
