I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
