CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
