And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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